One Step Follows Another
by Velvet Jaguar
Summary: It takes a strong person to leave the past behind and move on with the scars. Two people helping each other makes it easier


Ok story by ME!! ENJOY!  
  
Disclaimer - I own EVERYTHING!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh except maybe the characters and the story that my story is based on and maybe everything else within the story that this is story is based on.. BUT I know I DEFINETLY own the disclaimer. and the idea for the story.  
  
Story Title - One step followed by another  
  
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Chapter 1 - Takes two to Tango  
  
The room was cold and cluttered. There were items lying discarded on the floor, clothes hanging from the lampshade and broken glass in the corner, evidence of the hurricane of emotions that tore through the small room the night before. The silent remainder of a rage of passion, grief, and sorrow, in the middle of it all a young man laid in a restless sleep, a sleep haunted by nightmares, the past few weeks replaying itself, forever lingering in his sleep and his wakefulness, the face of his godfather ever in front of him yet just beyond his grasp.  
  
Harry woke with a start, jerked awake by the black veil, he surveyed his room and saw the destruction he had wreaked over it, silent tears running down his cheeks mingling with sweat so that it was impossible to distinguish the two, wishing for all he was worth that he could just forget but at the same time cursing himself for not remembering.  
  
He silently got to his feet, not really registering what he was doing and gradually hauled himself to his desk; sitting on the chair he wandered what could break his depression, what could bring him out of his reverie.  
  
He pulled a photo album closer to him and flicked through it; his parents holding him, smiling with pride; his godfather with his best friend smiling in happiness; the first order all smiling unaware of their fate.  
  
'You know what is wrong with these pictures?' Harry thought to himself, "THEIR ALL SMILING!" he yelled in frustration and threw the book across the room, hitting the door with a tremendous force.  
  
Harry sat there with his head in his hands, seeing all his challenges over and over, hours went by and he didn't move, the river of emotions that rampaged through him were too much to bear all at once.  
  
'Try and sort them out' he thought, that will help. But try as he might he couldn't separate them, they continued to mingle with other emotions coursing a sea of turbulence to be present within his mind.  
  
Harry sighed and hauled himself once more to his feet, trudging over to the photo album that he had flung across the room earlier.  
  
'No one understands,' he thought scathingly, 'they all think they do. but they don't'  
  
His anger was building again with the injustice of it all, why him? Why now? Just WHY? It's not fair. That little voice in the back of his head was about to declare something but he cut it off from his thoughts.  
  
He reached the album and picked it up. It was open onto the photo of the original Order, they would understand, he thought bitterly, they all have their families and their families are safe so why are my parents dead? Why is the closest thing I ever had to a parent just been taken away from me! It is NOT FAIR! My parents are gone and everyone else's are still alive, I don't have anyone left who would understand.  
  
He sat staring at the photo for a long time, tracing a person with his finger, not really seeing the photo, too busy dwelling on the stupidity of it all. Then he realized who he had been looking at the whole time. A young man with brown hair slightly tinged with age but looking young none the less, smiling with those around him.  
  
Pity and guilt filled Harry's stomach. He was wrong to think that no one would understand what he was going through. The young man in the photo would know what he was feeling, he had lost the same people, been through similar situations and had lived with the memories for much longer then he, himself had carried them.  
  
"Remus" he murmured.  
  
______________________***_______________________  
  
Once again Remus found himself wandering aimlessly around the Black Mansion.  
  
'The only problem is' he thought ironically 'is there are no Blacks.'  
  
Traipsing up and down the stairs, not knowing what to do with himself. He did nothing. He had done nothing for over two weeks. Well his body had done nothing. His mind had replayed Sirius' death, over and over again. He had fallen, fallen into darkness. Seeing him fall, the look of comprehension, fear and pain scarring his, usually, cheeky and overconfident features, was more then he could bear, he was now the last Marauder, the last True Marauder.  
  
As Remus climbed the stairs to the second floor he realized what an effort it was to simply lift his feet, to find the energy to keep moving, just one step at a time, and he saw how much this related to his life now, never looking more than an hour ahead, just living, one step at a time. At each footfall Remus saw a memory;  
  
THUD  
  
Sirius smirking cheekily and James laughing hysterically at the teacup that Remus had bewitched to follow Jennie Floyd around;  
  
THUD  
  
The whole gang at James and Lily's wedding, laughing, talking, and always. happy;  
  
THUD  
  
Sirius on the front page of the Prophet. a traitor, sent to Azkaban leaving him so alone.  
  
THUD  
  
Sirius and him confronting Peter in Harry's third year, their reunited selves;  
  
THUD  
  
Sirius and Harry laughing at some joke only they knew off;  
  
THUD  
  
Sirius falling.falling behind the veil, Harry's screams of doubt, uncertainty and horror, his arm holding Harry back, his own desperate aching to go and retrieve his comrade, even though he knew that the only outcome would be he also disappearing, the maniacal laugh of Bellatrix Lestrange, the feeling of hatred he felt towards her, suppressing the desire to kill her, make her suffer like he has for so long.  
  
Remus shook his head, and looked around the second floor landing and wondered what to do now that he made it up here.  
  
'I suppose I should just keep walking' he thought to himself 'I am bound to end up somewhere in the end. Does it really matter where? There's no one here any more. No one to understand my pain'  
  
He was shattered out of his reverie when the doorbell rang downstairs. The absence of screaming was unnerving; when Sirius died the portrait came free from the wall and was immediately thrown to the relief of all. He started down the stairs not bothering to quicken his pace. Not bothering to look somewhat presentable, everyone had seen through his fake smiles and conversations, he thought it unnecessary to continue to hold up the image that he was not bothered.  
  
Slowly stretching out his hand he opened the door. There was a tall man framed in the doorway cloaked and hooded in black, his outfit contrasting to the bright sun and singing birds. Remus smiled sadly, it was a depressing sight, matched his mood.  
  
Harry knew that Remus could not see his face under the hood that he had pulled up to hide his identity but he could see Remus. Harry felt a twinge of sadness at the man who stood before him. Remus had always been a solid fixture in his life. Always knowing the answer, the right thing to do, but now Remus looked as lost as he felt. The lines of stress that usually were found on Remus' face were now accompanied by lines of grief and sadness, his hair seemed greyer and more unruly then ever and his clothes seemed shabbier, as if he had simply stopped caring.  
  
"May I help you?" Remus enquired, for the first time remembering that this was the headquarters of the order and that if Dumbledore had not given the location to them they could not possibly be standing in front of him. Harry lowered his hood and Remus seemed surprised to see him standing in the doorway.  
  
Harry's eyes were dull and his skin tight with grief, bags were evident under his eyes and his young face held a sign of age and wisdom that comes to one who has seen much and experienced ordeals that, at their age, should not have been a familiar occurrence by one so young.  
  
'He looks like he has been to hell and back' Remus observed sadly.  
  
Both men looked at each other for a while before Remus stepped back and motioned for Harry to join him inside. As the door closed Harry and Remus looked at each other again across the hallway.  
  
"Come into the kitchen Harry, we can have a drink and talk, possibly of the reason why you are here and also how you got here without the person on duty knowing it." Remus said with the ghost of a smile gracing his lips.  
  
Harry nodded his agreement and followed Remus to the kitchen where they took a seat and Remus summoned two glasses and the butterbeer from the fridge. He filled the two glasses, took a gulp and looked at Harry.  
  
"How have you been Harry?" Remus enquired in a concerned voice. His own sorrow had been forgotten when he saw the sorrow that Harry must be in.  
  
"I am going ok. You?" Harry replied.  
  
"Oh I am pretty good. You know, keeping busy."  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Oh"  
  
Silence fell over the room and both men took a drink of their butterbeer. Harry surveyed Remus over the top of his glass.  
  
"You're a horrid liar." Harry commented truthfully.  
  
"I know. You're not much better yourself." Was Remus' reply.  
  
A smile lightened both faces, a feature that had not graced either of them for three weeks. It was a genuine smile, not a forced one, a real smile and each was glad to see it return to the others face. Silence fell once more and both men went back to their silent thoughts.  
  
"Why are you here Harry?"  
  
Harry looked up somewhat surprised by the directness of the question. He did not answer straight away but instead thought about what sort of answer he could give. But then he decided that the truth was probably the best one, he owed Remus the truth.  
  
"I have been sitting in my room since the beginning of the holidays, replaying what happened, not knowing what I was feeling. Now that I look at it, it seems that I have been feeling sorry for myself for the last week." At this Harry looked at the sink in an attempt to hide the shame that had swelled within him. "I kept saying how no one understood my pain even though they said that they did. And then I saw a picture. You know the picture of the original order and I realized that. you and I. we are going through the same thing."  
  
When Remus heard these words he realized that he too had been going through the same self pity and the same thoughts but had not yet made the connection that someone else shared his pain. He looked up at Harry who was still looking staring avidly at the sink.  
  
'He is so much older then me in too many ways' Remus thought in amazement.  
  
Harry looked back at Remus and saw a thoughtful expression on his face.  
  
"I decided that my parents and definitely. Sirius. they would not want us to go through this pain alone." Harry couldn't read the expression that was on Remus' face so he plunged on. "So I thought that if we could help each other through it, it would lessen both of our pain. I came to see if you were coping."  
  
"Only to discover that you, yourself were not coping either." Remus finished for him.  
  
Harry looked up at him and Remus saw his heart shining through his eyes.Just like his father.  
  
"I miss him so much." Harry said, his voice unwavering but his eyes showed he was about to explode with grief.  
  
"Me too Harry, me too."  
  
Remus slipped into a reverie, staring out the sink where Harry's eyes had rested before.  
  
"Sometimes I just want to sleep, just sleep and never wake up." Remus said in a dead voice not taking his eyes from the sink but Harry knew he wasn't really seeing it anyway.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because then I wouldn't have to live this nightmare, I could just sleep and nothing would be real, I could see them all again. in my dreams." Remus answered in a wistful tone.  
  
"Would it be enough Remus, I thought the same thing, I tried. it never satisfied me." Harry replied mournfully.  
  
Remus shrugged and looked straight at Harry with a look of amusement and interest. Harry cocked his head to the side in a questioning look.  
  
"We could move to a shop with the Weasley twins and experiment on trying to make a potion that will allow us to sleep forever" Remus mused casually but there was a twinkle evident in his voice.  
  
"Hmm. we would have to test it on someone as well," said Harry catching on.  
  
"It would have to be someone we really wouldn't lament to being rid of."  
  
"Yes. I just have no idea who we could use," Harry said in a thoughtful voice. And then his face lit up in fake recognition. "Wait. The person we choose would have to be very brave-"  
  
"-and cunning Harry, that is very important."  
  
"Right you are. Cunning, yes, you know what! By Dumbledore's beard I think I have got just the person" he exclaimed in a jump of triumph  
  
"Who?" said Remus in playful curiosity.  
  
"Who better for the job then Severus Snape?!" Harry said joyously apparently extremely pleased he had thought of such a brilliant candidate.  
  
"That has to be the most brilliant proposition I have ever heard!" Remus exclaimed jumping to his feet also.  
  
"The people would love us, we would be ridding the world of a foul, sinister person and at the same using his death for the greater good." He continued as he paced the room, expanding on their seemingly flawless plan. "He would be made heroes Harry, KINGS! Could you imagine it! Everyone would rejoice in the disappearance of Snape."  
  
"Remus! You know I think we are on to something here. The day would be forever known as 'No Snape Day' and all would rejoice and it would go down in history as the day that Snape was taken from this world and placed in the dream world, where there is candy floss and laughter, two things that everyone knows Snape hates."  
  
"We would celebrate this momentous occasion with colourful balloons, fizzing whizbees, and everything that is enjoyable in the world! Everything that Snape coughLOVEScough!!!"  
  
Both men looked at each in boyish delight and burst into laughter. Both unable to hold it in any longer. Rolling on the floor, to any that were present it would seem that their sorrow was finally lifting in the view of their common ailments.  
  
As it was, their was one witness to the scene, and that was Kingsley Shacklebelt, who's head had appeared in the fire when Remus was first expressing his desperation to sleep, he was sent to inform Remus that all the order would be gathering their tonight, but he had not thought it right to interrupt their conversation. So he had made to leave but something Harry had said had frozen his retreat.  
  
He saw why Albus worried for Harry, why he felt responsible for him, and why so many loved him. He held a power, a truth that is not conquered by many adult wizards and witches. Harry was, in every sense of the word, an adult. A young man who knew more then most of the folk who run this country and the wizarding world.  
  
Kingsley had looked on in silent happiness and amusement as the scene unfolded and he now saw the Remus and Harry that everyone had missed so much over the last three weeks. The Remus and Harry that everyone had always told him existed but he had never seen and now, as he watched on in delight, he saw the power of camaraderie. Kingsley decided that now would be a good time to leave and withdrew his head from the fire.  
  
Harry and Remus continued to roll on the floor in laughter for several more minutes before Harry was grabbing at the bench to try and pull himself up, Remus grabbed Harry as a support in an attempt to straighten himself and both collapsed back onto the floor in hysterical laughter.  
  
Eventually both managed to rise, struggling for breath and dropping themselves unceremoniously on the bench, leaning on the table behind them for support.  
  
"Thank you Harry." Remus said between breaths.  
  
Harry looked at Remus with a smile still evident on his face and simply nodded. "And thank you Remus."  
  
When their laughter had subsided both found that the happiness had a lasting effect. No longer did either feel the same sorrow as they had previously and Remus found himself in quite a good mood. Harry also found his spirits uplifted.  
  
"You know Harry, I am curious to know, how on earth did you get here without the person on duty finding out about it?" Remus enquired.  
  
"Oh! That! Well I am sure Mundungus will forgive me one day!" Harry stated happily and his chest swelled up in pride. Remus was reminded of James when he was particularly happy about a prank that he had recently played and loved to share every detail with him.  
  
'I am sure this is a story James would be proud of,' thought Remus. 


End file.
